Potato Potahto, Tomato Tomahto

By Bill Yanger

Another in a continuing series of imagined conversations over coffee at the Rod &Reel Pier. Any resemblance to persons or personalities, real or imagined, is entirely coincidental and mostly unintended.

Good morning.

Yessir, good morning. Go Saints!

Saints. Pffft. You kidding me? Peyton Manning will shred New Orleans next weekend. Speakin’ of, so when we leaving for Miami?

Had to go all the way to Key Largo to get a hotel room. Not bad though…on the water. Tiki bar. Need to check in by 6 next Friday night.

Key Largo? That’s gotta be two hours from the stadium on a good day. Maybe more.

Did you hear me say Tiki Bar…on the water. And if you’ll remember, you’re my guest…any other complaints?

Right. Super Bowl. Tiki bar. I love two-hour drives in South Florida traffic. Just think of all the talk radio we can listen to. And I’ll bring my old Who cd’s…they’re playin’ at halftime…you know… “peeeeople try to put us dowwwwnnnn…talkin’ bought my gennnnnner-A-tion!”

My god! Was that an angry cat or did you just try to sing?

So I’m no Roger Daltrey…but I can play a mean air guitar! “Mmmmy generation babayyyyyy!!”

Okay, okay stop it. Bring all the cd’s you want. But no more singing…or whatever that was you were doing.

Can’t wait see all those celebrities at the big parties. George Clooney, Brad Pitt…

…Oprah Winfrey…Dr. Oz!

…Paris Hilton!

Uh…yeah…well, let's hope not. And by the way, don’t count on getting into any big parties. A-listers only. Not exactly our social strata.

No parties?


Nope, no parties. Just you and me big guy…and the Tiki bar.

Probably see a bunch of politicians, huh?

Yeah, they’ll be swarming like hornets, I suppose. Any opportunity for a handshake and a photo-op, you know? A ticket to every party, luxury box seats, great hair. That’s public servants for you.

You mean politicians.

Yeah, politicians.

But you just said public servants.

Potato po-TAH-to. Tomato to-MAH-to. Same thing.

Wrong.

Huh?

You’re wrong. Not the same thing.

Do I see another one of your lectures parking its bike and walking up the pier?

No lecture…just makin’ sure you get it right. Just because you get elected to office does not mean you’re a politician. And it certainly does not mean you’re a public servant.

So where’d this tender nugget of wisdom come from?

A buddy here in town. Been in office a while. He’s a real stickler on the difference between the two. Hates it when people call him a politician.

I don’t see a difference.

Then you need to look harder. He makes a lotta sense, this guy. See, in his estimation a politician runs for office to serve himself …or herself, of course.

Or the folks who wrote checks to his or her campaign…

That’s the cynical view, some would say, and yes, there is probably a certain amount of beholdin’ that goes on…. But a public servant runs for office to serve the people…

…who voted for them…

Whoa now, not necessarily. The good ones take a wider view. Public servants look for ways to make it about others, all constituents, and their future. Politicians look for ways to make it about themselves and their own future, usually the next rung up the ladder.

Semantics. They’re all in it for the glory.

Glory. Riiiiight. Plenty of political glory in good ol’ Anna Maria.

Well, glory is relative. I mean, for instance…writing letters, posting on blogs, crashing committee meetings, saying people should be fired and…here’s the clincher... calling your own city commission meeting with 24 hours notice? Shoot, by your buddy’s definition that new commissioner, the one with the name I still can’t spell, he’d be a politician, right?

Again, not necessarily. That little quick notice meeting last week served a purpose, at least in my estimation. It woke people up. Certainly peeved a few folks too. I hear the one commissioner, the lawyer guy, showed more fire in two minutes than he has in two years.

Yeah, classic stare down. Like High Noon At The O.K Corral, only at 10 a.m in...well...city hall chambers. Tense boy, tense! Then the commissioner with the gavel pounded everyone back to sense…now there’s a public servant for you…

Got that right. Good man.

You were saying it served a purpose...what purpose could all that chaos possibly have served?

Easy, it shined a bright light on a very touchy and festering problem ... made folks sit up and pay attention, whether they wanted to or not, apparently.

Yeah, pay attention to him, the guy who caused it all.

Well yeah, maybe. But there’s no message without a messenger. And sometimes…too many times really…people confuse how they feel about the message with their opinion of the guy they hear it from.

Yeah, that lady editor sure went off on him…er… I think. Not sure what she was saying really but there seemed to be a lot of words that sounded bad. I thought maybe they got all jumbled up in her computer and didn’t come out right but I just gave up and went to the fishing report. God, I wish it was tarpon season already.

Don’t get me started on her little rudderless tirade. You know that blog thingy? They posted an Open Letter to her about it. Do yourself a favor and go read it. But back to the new commissioner, the messenger.

I’m listenin’.

According to nearly everyone you ask, politicians and public servants included, the city has a big problem with its building rules. The lawyers say so, some commissioners and P&Z guys say so, developers say so, at least some of them, and anyone who’s read the rules says so.

So?

So the rules need to be fixed.

But why pick on PAR while they’re fixin' it? Those guys are just trying to earn a living and make Pine Avenue nice. Why single them out for all the abuse?

No, no, NO! That argument just drives me crazy. C’mon, man. Stop it. You’re smarter than that. No one is abusing PAR or singling them out or picking on them.

Okay smart guy, I don’t seem to hear or read about other builders having problems getting site plans passed for stuff on Pine. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

Because, DUMMY, there ARE…NO…OTHER…BUILDERS doing ROR “stuff”, as you call it, on Pine. And PAR’s “stuff” is all new. And our laws have not caught up to the new stuff. The two don’t mesh, not yet. And that is what that new commish is trying to fix. PAR just happens to be the one causing the fixes. Their plans are very cool and very new and very different. This city has always had a tough time with cool and new and different.

PAR’s really the only one?

Yes, for now. But that is exactly why this is so important. It may be about PAR now but it is really about all the PAR wannabe’s that are gonna charge in like tarpon on pass crabs in the next few years, daisy chainin’ around city hall lookin’ for fat and ripe opportunities. Gotta have the rules tighter than a surgeon’s knot when that happens or who knows what Pine will look like in ten years.

Lord, I can’t wait for tarpon season.

You said that already. You didn’t listen to a word I said after “pass crab” did you? Got that scary silver king stare in your eyes.

I heard ya, I heard ya. And I get it. Still think the guy’s a politician.

Time will tell. Probably shouldn’t be callin’ anymore of those next-day meetings any time soon, least not without boxing gloves on. But from where I sit, looks to me like he’s trying to get it right for all of us, not just for him. I'm givin' him a shot but I'm watchin'.

Yeah, watchin'. I'll be watchin' my Saints Come Marchin' In next Sunday night. The Colts got no chance pal.

The tab at the hotel Tiki bar says you’re wrong.

You are on, my friend.

See you tomorrow.

Yeah, tomorrow.



© 2010 William L. Yanger