Wanna Bet?

By Bill Yanger

Another in a continuing series of imagined conversations over coffee at Ginny & Jane E’s. Any resemblance to persons or personalities, real or imagined, is entirely coincidental and mostly unintended.

Good morning.

Well well. And a good morning to you, cheater.

Cheater?

Yeah, you cheated.
What do you mean I cheated?

You took me with that bet when you knew your team was gonna luck out and win.
Are you talking about the football game Sunday?

Yes, wiseguy, the football game Sunday. You invited me over to watch and you took me.
And you drank all my beer.

Serves you right.

So you’re mad because I won a two dollar bet?

I’m mad because you knew he’d missed that field goal.

Oh come on ya big cry baby. You’d think we were at the Super Bowl or something. Just having a little fun.

Yeah, at my expense. Super Bowl...you wish big shot. I had no idea you had the game recorded on your DVR and we were watching it fifteen minutes after it really happened. Shoulda suspected something. You never gamble.

Unless I know the outcome. Heh heh.

Kinda like those developers. And wipe that smirk off your face.
Huh?

Those developers. They knew they’d get the zoning they wanted. Come on, 24 lots? All at one time? One fell swoop and they’ll have the roar they want. They’ll be roaring big time.
“Roar”?

Yeah, they want to roar. They wanna be able to build businesses and live there too. Like that "cake and eat it too” thing.
Cake?….Ohhhh. You mean R-O-R … “roar”… “cake and eat it too”… you’re too much. It stands for “Residential-Office-Retail”…

It stands for more money, that’s what. And they knew they’d get the zoning when they got the lots.
You make it sound like they cheated.

Kinda.
They didn’t. At least as far as I can tell. That whole zoning change thing is just a necessary adjustment to make the old local zoning map match the new comprehensive plan map.

Speak English please.
It’s just stuff the city needs to do to make sure everyone is on the same page and all the plans match up.

And you can’t tell me the developers didn’t know that was going to happen a long time ago. Smart ones, those guys.
Yeah, probably. But there’s nothing underhanded about it, I guess, and the information was available to everyone.

I’ll bet those 24 lots weren’t available to everyone. Don’t remember seeing any signs. No one called me offering to sell even one of them.
Like you would’ve bought one.

Hey, you never know. I can see myself in real estate. Flashy website. A red bike. My own restaurant. Heck, I’m a notary…I could do weddings.
You’re a notary? I’m in the presence of greatness…

You’re just a regular Comedy Central today.
Speaking of comedy central, did you see that parking committee thing is headed for round two?

What?
You know, the parking committee? That Pine-Avenue-isn’t-safe-anymore thing? Each commissioner’s nominating someone. Some old timers, some new guys. Even the PAR guy with the red bike.

Really? Hey, you wanna make a little wager on where he stands on Pine Avenue parking? Two bucks? Double or nothin’.
Won’t take that bet. But I wonder who nominated him? It wasn’t that lady commissioner, she put up an architect. Or so says the newspaper reporter, you know, the one who’s been around so long it seems like you've read his stories before? That one commissioner, the lawyer guy, he sure is awful quiet these days. Maybe it was him?

Wait, didn’t the reporter…uh…report who nominated the red bike guy?
No. Just kinda speculated there might be some disagreement on who gets picked and he threw out a few what he called “expected” names.

Expected? Expected by who?
Don’t know. He didn’t say. Just kinda hinted.

Expected and hinted and speculated? Perfect. If he doesn’t really know who picked the red bike guy, why’d he tell us about it? And if he does know, why didn’t he tell us about it? Since when do newspapers “hint” about things?
Good question. Guess you’d have to ask his editor. But, really, it’s probably a good thing. Committees should have people with different perspectives and opinions, otherwise there’d be nothing to argue abou…er…discuss. They’d just be a political action movement focused on their own agenda.

How do I get on that committee?
Call a commissioner and volunteer. Meetings? You?

Maybe. It’d sure be entertaining.

With your blood pressure, you wouldn’t make it through 30 minutes of the first one.

Yeah, I got no patience for politics. Or cheaters like you.
Oh, geez, give it a rest. Come over Sunday. Game’s at 1 o’clock. I’ll throw some beers in the cooler and my famous “Spunky Wings” on the grill.

You? Spunky Wings? Hah! More like Flunky Wings. My wings would wipe yours off the table.

Wanna bet?

No.

See you tomorrow.

Yeah, tomorrow.


© 2009 – William L. Yanger