The Thing About Irony Is It Ain’t Always Funny

By Bill Yanger

Another in a continuing series of imagined conversations over coffee at the Rod & Reel Pier. Any resemblance to persons or personalities, real or imagined, is entirely coincidental and mostly unintended.



Good morning.

Mornin’ buddy.

Hey hand me that sports page, the Rays won again. What’re you reading?

Oh, you know, all this oily crap about those folks who keep trying to mess up what makes this little part of the world so special.

I know exactly what you mean. Everything seems rosy when slick Big Money pats us on the back and tells us how good they are at protecting our golden goose. We’ve heard it all, you know, like, “Trust us. We are different. We got specialists.”

Right, and “It’ll never happen here.” That’s a good one.

Or, I love the “We are making life better for everyone” angle. That one always nets a few napping politicians to pose with ‘em for a photo op or two.

…and a vote or two to get things done.

For sure. They cozy up to government and Very Important People, contribute to big splashy causes, get the newspapers to make ‘em look like Mother Teresa reincarnated. They buy pretty ads and websites with salty red sunsets over gin clear water. They build one here and then one there. Someone’ll complain but instead of listening, Big Money just calls ‘em bad guys and clips the lawyers off their leashes to go gnaw on some fresh meat for a while.

And then they just keep building the damn things anyway.

Exactly. All our brittle natural beauty and precious resources being bounced like rubber balls by the Big Money magicians at the Cash-It-In Circus who just give a crooked grin and say, “Trust us, it’ll be okay. We know what we’re doing.”

Then one of those rubber balls bursts and all they got to say is, “Well shoot, it was supposed to bounce.” And while the rest of us mop up the mess, they slither over to the next honey hole, tap it and suck it dry too.

Yep, I am madder ‘n hell at those damn oil companies ruining our Gulf! And just before tarpon season!

Huh? What the heck are you talking about?

The oil spill. You know, the rig explosion out in The Gulf of Mexico? Crude oil killing fish and birds and working its way across to our sacred Bean Point right over there any day now.

Ohhhhh, my lord…I thought you were talking about Pine Avenue. Pretty funny.

Hmmm, I see your point. But it ain’t funny, dude. It ain't funny at all.

Guess you’re right. See you tomorrow.

Yeah, tomorrow.

©-2010- William L. Yanger