Pancakes and Scallywags

By Bill Yanger

They’re back. Here's another in this continuing series of imagined conversations over coffee at the Rod & Reel Pier. Any resemblance to persons or personalities, real or imagined, is entirely coincidental and mostly unintended.


Good morning.

Hey! Grab a seat.

What the heck is that?

What?

That. On your plate.

THAT is a stack of pancakes.

I know it’s a stack of pancakes genius. What is that stack of pancakes doing on your plate.

Uh…soaking up all this butter and gooey maple syrup and waiting for me to eat ‘em?

Exactly!

Yes, exactly. Am I missing something?

You promised.You coulda had a frikkin’ heart attack, man! You know how bad it is for you and you said you’d never give in, that if they brought it to the table you’d just push it away. You said…

I know what I said. That was then. And I meant it, I really did. But, dude, get real…things change. Just being realistic under the circumstances. I'm hungry...and I like pancakes…a lot.

Things change? That’s your answer? Here’s realistic for you: your blood pressure has to duck to get in the door, man. Cholesterol, too. You have people depending on you. You can’t eat that stuff. What’s next? You gonna take a cigarette from the next guy offers you one, too? You promised. We believed you.

Wow, you like me…you really like me…

Sure, be funny. Bet your eulogy will crack us all up.

Chill out my friend, it’s just a short stack, two little pancakes. I walked two miles this morning and did the bike yesterday. It’s a little compromise, you know?

No, I don’t know. There is no compromising here, your doctor said so. You gotta have some will, some fortitude. And when you say something you need to stick to it. People do like you, they want you around for a good while longer. That does not include falling for the first stack of pancakes that comes along.

Alright already. Hey put them back!

Are you pointing that fork at me?

Just put the pancakes back on the table. One bite and that’s it. Promise.

See, there’s the problem. One bite leads to two, leads to three, before you know it you’re licking the syrup off someone else’s plate. Nope. Order an egg-white omelet or something.

Oh gawd. Egg-white omelet? Yeck.

Sometimes sticking to your guns don’t taste so good. But it’s the right thing to do.

Yeah, yeah, okay.

You can stop pointing the fork at me now.

Oh, right, sorry. Reminds me, did you see they hijacked the new mayor? Surrounded city hall, threatened a bunch of stuff, threatened the city too if he didn’t cooperate. Then they took him and said they’d keep at it till they got what they wanted.

Yeah those pirates are a hoot. Great folks, cool ship, give a ton to charity.

Pirates? Heh, scallywags maybe but I wouldn’t call them pirates. They’re just doing hard-nosed business like always. Kinda used to it by now.

Huh? You mean the Privateers right?

No no no. I mean the developers.

Ahhh, right, developers. Hmmm...

Just one little bite?

Nope. See you tomorrow.

Yeah, tomorrow.


© 2011 – William L. Yanger